Giblets (yeah, I mean the chewy gut-bits of a turkey)

Just a quick update...

In less than two weeks I get to quit my job. I am extatic. I really need to find a summer job that doesn't make me want to open a vein.

Reading (almost finished) Barbara Kingsolver's "The Poisonwood Bible." Well written, but I hope she didn't mean it to be a virulently anti-American as it is coming across. Given her political writings though, I bet it is. Summary: Jesus and Uncle Sam ruin a perfectly happy African nation.

Finished Harry Potter. No reason to live. It was good, but the last word was not "scar." Harry it a total Christ-character.

Reading more Robert Jordan. I wan't to stop, but I can't. Isn't there a 12 step program for this?

Feeling happy for the first time in months. Likely the effect of a new bag of kava.

I will be visiting Boston between Aug 22 and 26. Then to Missouri. Then to 17 credits of madness.

Big Ben XVI on "Jesus of Nazareth"

Okay, class. These are my initial impressions: brilliant, inspiring, and... depressing.

The book is not depressing in itself, but because I cannot help but keep thinking: "Why, oh, why could we never have anything like this in Sunday School? Why do we spend so much time and effort on fluff? (And I don't mean the lovely marshmallow spread you can only get back East.)

What do we get in SS? (Not, by the way, auspicious initials.)
1) Brief overview of some text.
2) "Personal interpretation" of the text from teacher and class-members.
3) Debate about the value and credibility of these "interpretations," most of which are worthless, as the laughable exegesis in which we, as Mormons, engage draws on nothing but the KJV text and whatever we make up. No cultural understanding, no textual criticism; most class-members didn't even read the text before coming to class.
4) Invariably, the interpretation we settle on as valid is the one that corresponds most exactly with the Mormon practice du jour, because, of course, the way we do things today is representative of the actual personal opinion of deity; that is, we have finally "arrived" as an institution. No further thought or innovation is necessary: sorry, Gordon. Please maintain the status quo.
5) Flaccid application to our lives. Acceptable as long as we do not need to really live the law of consecration. It is a lovely plan, but really, the Lord wants you to have that boat/car/house. We love the honeyed flavor of scripture; we just won't accept what makes our bellies bitter.
6) Obligatory "testimony." Tears are a plus (and a sign of truth).
7) Pat yourself on the back! We are the one true church, and no one else has anything to offer!

Buy the Pope's book. You won't regret it. You can even find time to read it in Sunday School; after all, you've got nothing better to do.

Mormonism and the Orthodox Tradition

Today, class, we are going to discuss why LDS meetings are so blasted low-church (not a pejorative) protestant / evangelical in nature. We share very little tradtition with older faiths like Catholicism or Eastern Orthodoxy (which I will lump, for convenience, into the classification of "Orthodoxy"). Why is this? Are we afraid of ritual or ceremony? Certainly not! Have you ever been to the temple?

Let me offer a suggestion: of all the things that are mutable in the Church (and there are many) one of which is the rather basic nature of our meetings and our lack of liturgical year. I also would suggest that this is the case not because of some specific revelation, but merely because the Church was restored within an evangelical cultural milieu.

Can you name a good reason why we should not adopt some of the beautiful traditions of our fellow priesthood-authority-acknowledging brothers and sisters?

The following is a good question from "Answers to Gospel Questions, Volume 5" by Joseph Fielding Smith:

Question: "Can you please tell me why members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints do not observe Good Friday as other Christians do?"

Answer: The reason why we do not observe Good Friday should be clear enough.

Easter is taken from a pagan spring holiday, that was governed by the moon. The Roman Catholic Church connected the birth of the Savior with this pagan ceremony. As you know, Easter is governed by the moon, and this spring pagan festival was celebrated according to the moon, any time in March and the end of April.

Now as you well know that the resurrection did not vary and it is foolish to celebrate the resurrection of our Lord at the end of March or the first of April, or middle of April or near the first of May, and put Good Friday the Friday before the Easter Sunday. I think you are wise enough to see the foolishness of it. The resurrection of the Savior does not vary year by year but it is a constant thing. Why should we follow the silly custom rather than to have one day for the resurrection?

Lovely, but by the same logic we shouldn't celebrate Easter either!

So what say you? I think we ought to push at least for Holy Week. Comments?

Editorial (that will never see the light of day)

Submitted to the Daily Universe re the flaccid state of BYUSA:

To the Editor:

A few of the recent responses concerning the latest BYUSA election have lamented the lack of student interest and involvement, and suggest that with more participation the organization could be fixed. Sadly, they are wrong. BYUSA is already overly "fixed" -- like my dog. All the involvement, money, and veterinarians in the world could not make my Labrador capable of siring pups. Similarly, BYUSA is a completely emasculated organization, unable to produce anything substantive. That is not meant as an indictment; it is merely the nature of the beast.

BYUSA is not a student government; they do not govern. They cannot effect change; they have no leverage with the administration because they derive their authority from the administration. They have no significant autonomy.

Thus, if students want to apply pressure to change policy, they must do it at the "grass-roots" level. For instance, do you think BYU Bookstore charges too much for text books? (Who doesn't?) Then organize a program or website that publishes booklists earlier so students can buy them cheaply online; arrange for students to advertise directly to other students the books they need to sell, eliminating Bookstore involvement.

Students can, in fact, be the agents of improvement at BYU, but they ought to understand the power dynamics behind the bureaucracy, which is by nature resistant to change. The only leverage they can bring to bear is making it less uncomfortable to change than it is to maintain the status quo.

If it gets published, I'll be quite surprised. And pleased.

Random dribbles

Wow, it has been a really long time since I've posted. Life has gotten crazy and I don't have nearly the time anymore. In any case, for my faithful readership (of one) I ought to scribble down a few things that I have been looking into recently:

I. Why do LDS ignore (largely) the psalms?
They are holy writ, and they can teach us amazing things about the gospel. For instance, take a look at one of Christ's last utterances in mortaility: My god, my god, why had thou forsaken me? Most LDS don't realize that this quote comes directly out of the 22nd (in the KJV reckoning) psalm. It is a prayer that begins with desolation, but ends aknowledging that the Lord will triumph. Christ wasn't just expressing his sorrow, but his ultimate confidence that he would be victorious. Most LDS would say that here, by quoting that phrase, Jesus was fulfilling prophecy, but to suggest that that was all he was doing would be to say that Christ was not aware of that scripture or its implications, which is surely not the case. Christ chose it intentionally for what it would teach his disciples, who were steeped in the OT.

II. What is a "vain repetition"?
CS Lewis suggests that our prayers are bound to become repetitious no matter what we do. (In fact, it is just as artificial to be concerned with always coming up with new phrases to express our needs and thanks.) We will use the same words, period. The only important thing, then, if that we are constantly pouring new meaning and immediacy into those words. What then is the problem with using traditional phrases in prayer? That is not to say that we should abandon the extemporaneous for rote prayer, but that there might not be a problem in "festooning" our prayers with ancient, traditional phrases, which have become, over time, packed with meaning. For more info read: Letters to Malcom, Chiefly on Prayer by Lewis.

III. Pattern of prayer?
In the church our pattern of prayer is very basic:
Address God.
Thank him.
Ask him.
Close through Jesus Christ.

Might I submit that we try a slightly expanded version? It is called the ACTS pattern, and it addresses somethings we often leave undone in out prayers.

Address God

ADORATION
CONTRITION/CONFESSION
THANKSGIVING
SUPPLICATION

Close through Jesus Christ.

This has been working well for me. Try it and see what you think.

Teaser...

Coming soon: Recent BYU Forum, Dr. Aswan discusses Middle Eastern relations, with some veiled criticisms of the Bush administration (what else would you expect?). He was introduced in glowing terms by Boyd K. Packer. Interesting...

Quotes and commentary pending.

Hailing a new-ris'n star...

Those of you who watch the heavens of the blogosphere carefully will not have missed the arrival of a new light on the horizon. We look forward to upcoming posts (in spite of the author's misconceptions about birth-order preeminence). With crypic commentary and a mysterious title, the blog only yet lacks the inclusion of sacred geometry to complete this lagoon of gnosis...

لا الله الا الله ، لكن غوردون هينكلي - وهو النبي.

Ding-dong! The witch is dead!

Okay, maybe that was a bit harsh... However, there was some news I just found out that is good, and kind of sad too. On the plus side, one of the wasps, long buzzing around the heads of members and LDS apologists is gone. On the sad side, what is there to show but time wasted in bitterness and fruitless enterprise. The following was printed in the Salt Lake Tribune on the 3rd or 4th of October:

Jerald D. Tanner 06/01/38 ~ 10/01/06 Jerald D. Tanner, age 68, died peacefully on Sunday, Oct. 1, 2006, due to complications associated with Alzheimer's disease. He was born June 1, 1938, in Provo, Utah, to George and Helen Tanner. He married Sandra McGee on June 14, 1959, in Mission Hills, California. He graduated from West High School, attended the University of Utah and graduated from Salt Lake Trade Technical Institute in 1959. After a few years as a machinist Jerald launched his own business, Modern Microfilm Co. and began publishing historical research [for lack of a better term]. He closed his business in 1983 and established the non-profit organization Utah Lighthouse Ministry, which continues to publish his research. He authored more than forty books, including "Mormonism-Shadow or Reality?", and in 1980 his book "The Changing World of Mormonism" was published by Moody Press. For many years Jerald served on the board of the Rescue Mission of Salt Lake, volunteered in the office and held prayer time with the men throughout the week. He also served as an Elder and was on the Governing Board for Discovery Christian Community. He was a quiet man who loved to pray and memorize scriptures. He also enjoyed walks, hikes, Jazz games, animals, and an occasional practical joke, especially if it was his idea. We will all miss his keen mind, sense of humor and gentle teasing [and his undying vilification of all things Mormon]. Jerald's commitment to Christ was an inspiration to many people [who also happen to hate Mormons]. Jerald was preceded in death by his parents and sister, Ruth Mellor. He is survived by his wife, Sandra; three children, April (Brian) Muegge, Dennis (Sherri) Tanner, Teresa (Chuck) Vanderpool; five grandchildren, Nathan, Samuel, Vanessa, William and Brandi; two sisters, Irene (Carl) Bonner and Evelyn (Chris) Miller; plus numerous nieces, nephews and his special friends and co-workers, Wendell, Marlene, Mark and Tony. During Jerald's long illness, he was lovingly cared for by his wife of 47 years until the final four days of his life. The family wishes to thank all those at CareSource Hospice facility for their compassion and support. A memorial service will be held on Saturday, Oct. 7, 2006, at 10:30 a.m. at the Salt Lake Christian Center, 4300 South 700 East, Murray, Utah. The family will receive visitors from 9:30 to 10:15 a.m. prior to the service. In lieu of flowers the family suggests that donations be made in Jerald's memory to the Rescue Mission of Salt Lake or CareSource Hospice. Condolences may be sent to condolences@utlm.org

One wonders how early the Alzheimers set in... In any case, I am sorely tempted to send some--er--condolences.

Another moronic BYU editorial...

At last, I think I have found it! A veritable Holy Grail of Latter-day idiocy! The following letter to the editor was published in the Y's daily rag--The Daily Universe:

Devotional Dancing Disaster

In response to the blasphemous performance of "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing” in Devotional, we the aggrieved take this opportunity to express our disgust, revulsion and deep disappointment in the failing judgment of all those who took part in enabling this to occur.

Our sacred hymns are not to be the background music for provocative dancing they are to invite the Holy Spirit and inspire reverence in those who hear.

"Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing” happens to be one of our favorite hymns. We have oft times been inspired by the beauty of the words and music, while pondering on our relationship with the Savior and our place in the universe. Performances of hymns are meant to turn our minds to God, to leave us renewed, and enlightened, in a quiet spirit of reverence. Applause should never be elicited in response to a sacred hymn. Hymns should never be used in a routine or setting to garner loud, rambunctious approval from a riotous crowd. This sacrilegious misuse of consecrated music has deeply offended many of our student body. We write this in hopes that nothing of this nature will ever happen again.

Heidi McLaren
West Row, England

Rebecca Fluckiger
Allen, Texas

(As much fun as it would be to make a few puns on Rebecca F's last name, I will resist the opportunity.) In any case, their comments were completely ridiculous. The performance they refer to was totally appropriate (modern dancing ain't my thing, but you know...)

In an effort to help them, I submitted the following (printing pending):

1) The dance itself was not "provocative" or inappropriate in any way. If it made you lusty, perhaps you could talk to your priesthood leader about it; that is not a normal reaction to such innocuous stimuli.

2) BYU Choirs (even CJ and the MoTabs) regularly sing such "consecrated" hymns and receive applause. It is really the only way to display appreciation and approval in such a setting. Perhaps your misconceptions about the evils of clapping come from the LDS practice of not applauding in the chapel. (I have personally seen the Prohpet himself clap during a performance. A shock, I know.)

3) You seem to imply that dancing draws one's mind away from the divine. Michal might agree, but David would not (2 Sam. 6:12-17). In the passage in question, the phrase "before the Lord," the sacrifices, and the linen ephod all lend a temple-like significance to his sacred dance. In fact, Brigham Young, before leaving Nauvoo, held a dance in the temple—and a sleep-over!

4) Asceticism, such as you exhibit, is more often a cause of pride than an indicator of righteousness.

I'm not sure they will respond; winnowing the thesaurus like they did must take some time. How else could they have come up with such revoltingly bloated prose?

Yes, it's the "Lord's University".

The Oaks Smackdown

Oaks proposed a beautiful argument in what was a mostly comforting talk about the healing power of Christ and His atonement. However, there is a necessary and unbending corollary to that truth: because Christ is so powerful, so able to heal, there is NO EXCUSE not to take advantage of it. Thus if we remain unhealed, we want it that way.

Additionally, he (with characteristic lucidity) made a point that gives the lie to those fringe members with strange ideas about homosexuality and the gospel; quoting a letter from someone who had succeeded in altering their orientation, he said:

"...Many people focus on the causes of same-gender attraction. There is no need to determine why I have this challenge. I don't know if I was born with it, or if environmental factors contributed to it. The fact of the matter is that I have this struggle in my life. And what I do with it from this point forward is what matters."

Well, well, "Affirmation-ites," put that in your pipe and smoke it!

General Conference, Oct 2006

Well, General Conference went off well. Of course, Holland - as per usual - was dynamic and eloquent. It seemed that President Hinckley looked a little more feeble, but what do you expect: he's 96!