Monday, October 08, 2007

Cat Thoughts,


Why People Who Drive Scooters
Should Not Spin Out on Gravel

Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings? Yes, but what they don't tell you is every time you listen to a Janice Kapp Perry song, an angel has to shoot a baby kitten in the face.

* * *

Co-worker: I miss the old machine for metering postage on the mail.

Me: You mean the one that used to peel off the stickers inside itself and jam a snarl of adhesive paper in the rollers and then you had to run a few kittens through to clear the blockage?

Co-worker: Yeah, that one.

* * *

"There's more than one way to skin a cat."

True, but only one is very efficient:
1) Take one warm, large, flexible cat.
2) Split the skin vertically from just below the jaw, up the snout, between the eyes and to the back of the skull.
3) Grasp cat by tail.
4) Crack like a bull-whip. (This step takes practice. You may want to have a few other cats on hand for this purpose.)

Note: It is always best to spread out some newspaper before beginning. Skinless cats moving at this velocity don't so much go "thud!" as "splash!"

* * *

Why People Who Drive Scooters
Should Not Spin Out on Gravel:

Saturday, October 06, 2007

GC Roundup

Actually this won't be much of a roundup, but I just had to make some comment about Jeffrey R. Holland's talk.

WOW. That was a doctrinal smack-down par excellence. It was ecclesiastical Mortal Kombat: "Finish them!"

How does he rock so hard?

Also, let's all send up a few for Elder Wirthlin. He did not look well.

(Oh yeah, I am stoked about the new apostolic appointments, but it seems to be somewhat above needing my opinion.)

Monday, October 01, 2007


Some grab-bag bits:

Here's a fantastic interview with Orson Scott Card and the host of the famous blog

•I was just made aware of a positively craptastic CES policy. Yeah, yeah, the church is still true. But remember kids, all is well in Zion, yea, Zion prospereth.

•New cool blog here.

•Oh, Robert Jordan is dead. The nerve of that guy; the ultimate cliffhanger. We ought to bring him back, make him finish the last volume, and then shoot him.

That is all.