Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Excuse me for a moment...

...I just have to go vomit forever. Take a gander at this monstrosity. (Sorry about only including a link; normally, I would try to put at least a thumbnail image on the blog, but this was too horrifying even to steal.)

Do note the ridiculous contradictions inherent in this painting! My personal favorite is the black soldier standing proxy for MLK, while Marbury v. Madison is left on the ground for enabling "activist judges." Never mind that without Marbury v. Madison enabling judicial review, major civil rights victories would have never happened. (Brown v. the Board of Education, anyone?) This is an example of trying to drink your Kool-aid and keep it too! Also, the professor holding "The Origin of Species" is contrasted with the (token black) college student* holding ... wait for it ... "The Five Thousand Year Leap" by Cleon "the Kingon" Skousen**! My eyes are now bleeding.

Well, I've got to go run and try make sure that humanism continues to dominate our educational system, but while I'm gone, see if you can spot Harriet Tubman! (Hint: They initially invited Rosa Parks, but she didn't like her assigned seat.)

Hugs and Kisses,
Your favorite servant of darkness and flunky of the liberal media

*Honestly, that guy gets around; his face is in practically every pamphlet or advertisement BYU prints.

**On sale this week at Macy's: industrial, hat-grade tinfoil -- only $2.00 a roll!

Thursday, September 03, 2009


Generally, complaints about the unfairness of the world do not move me. If it is some particular unfairness, caused and correctable by human beings, sure –– social justice seems a reasonable human goal to aim for. However, broader indictments of the cosmos about how "It's all so unfair!" seem better resolved with backbone and a stiff upper lip (if you're reduced to it) and perhaps a stiff drink (if you can manage it... not for Mormons, sorry –– and no one is more sympathetic on that point than myself!).

This morning, then, I find (again) that I am a dreadful hypocrite: Yesterday I was up at 3:00 AM and got horizontal again, exhausted, at 1:00 AM. I just awoke spontaneously at 5:00 AM, forty minutes ago, and the sandman is long gone, (I'll have a brick in a stocking waiting for the next time he stops by!), and though I am tempted to say, "It's all so unfair!"... well, my mother doesn't live here, so I will restrict my comments to the only thing that seems appropriate: "Damn."

(And now I'm off to go jury-rig a still in the bathtub!)


(The following is intended for those who have a stomach for earnestness and sincerity. To all others, my apologies.)

Of course, my little complaint is nothing in comparison to that of my sister and her family. I am not big enough to deal with those challenges; I think none of us are. Perhaps I am up early because the Lord knows I'll need some more "knee time" this morning. If you're up, feel free to join me.