Friday, May 06, 2011

My Testimony of Cheeses

Forgive the blasphemous title, Gentle Reader, but I couldn't resist. While working my way through a sliver of Roquefort this evening, I was reminded just how beautiful gastronomy can be sometimes. Among blue cheeses (and I mean this in a good way) Roquefort is like eating a razor blade. A delicious, life-giving razor blade. However, as gorgeous as it is, one cannot eat it without thinking of that noblest of milk-based marvels: Stilton. Oh, Stilton! What I feel for thee is nearly lust. Where Roquefort is a razor blade, Stilton is a sledgehammer to the face. A sledgehammer of ecstasy. As a British sitcom chef once declared: "Halle-bloody-lujah! Cow and bug in perfect harmony!"

Well, any paean of praise I might compose would fall short of the mark, so I'll leave that task to my betters. Enjoy, then, G.K. Chesterton's own Ode to Stilton:

Stilton, thou shouldst be living at this hour
And so thou art. Nor losest grace thereby;
England has need of thee, and so have I--
She is a Fen. Far as the eye can scour,
League after grassy league from Lincoln tower
To Stilton in the fields, she is a Fen.
Yet this high cheese, by choice of fenland men,
Like a tall green volcano rose in power.
Plain living and long drinking are no more,
And pure religion reading "Household Words",
And sturdy manhood sitting still all day
Shrink, like this cheese that crumbles to its core;
While my digestion, like the House of Lords,
The heaviest burdens on herself doth lay.


Ed said...

I am glad it was an ode anything lesser would not do justice t0 Stilton's age and noble name. Actually it tastes like something very dead but give it a great name and an ode and it sounds pretty respectable! I love you and the poem too.


Peter said...

Well, here in Da 'Hood of Da 'Ham (i.e., the Southside of Framingham, MA) where once your bore witness to the Gospel . . . and redeemed a portion of the poor benighted popish populace . . . we celebrated the Paschal Solemnity with the poor American version of Stilton . . . but, you know, it wasn't bad. I wonder if somewhere along the line, the pedigree of this cheese involved the Saints.

Behold: Iowa's "Maytag Blue"!

Ashlie said...

Haha! Very nice! Now I've got a hankering for some cheese, and it's 2:45 a.m.

The Olsen's said...

Hope you and the cheese are doing well. I am gald you can enjoy the cheese in relative quiet. Have a good day off!!!


Tegan said...

The only thing I have to say is that looks absolutely disgusting! Almost as bad as dipping cookies in milk.

dixonfamily said...

Hilarious!! I'm not sure I'm brave enough to eat it, but I'm sure happy you were able to have a moment of joy. Love you!!

Cynthia L. said...

My life has also been touched by this most wondrous cheese. Here is the recipe that changed my life:

Stilton crumbles
Fig jam
sprinkle of crushed candied pecans
all on a crisp Everything cracker

Latter-day Guy said...

Oooh, that sounds marvelous. Like brie en croute, but better! I'll definitely be giving that a try! Lovely stuff, that.

Scott B. said...

Not as good as some runny Camembert, but decent, yes.

Latter-day Guy said...

I only eat runny Camembert when I can't get Venezuelan beaver cheese.